“What’s your name?”
“Call me El”
The constant repetition had me memorising the cliche lines. What’s my name? Did I give my name its true worth?
First arriving to this country, I was proud of my identity, “My name is Elvan” it was funny at first, the way they couldn’t pronounce it. “Alvin?” “ilvAn?”
But then there was a pattern.
9 years since I have been gradually conforming to this foreign society. 9 years since I had been numbed by the changing norms and conformity. 9 years it had been where it gradually became, “I’m from Australia”.
How long had it been when the little, vulnerable voice in my head had switched to English?
But then there was a pattern.
Where was I a part of?
“Your English needs improving.”
“Your Turkish needs improving”
And then I wasn’t conforming, I was alienated.
I was alienated from a society I was a part of.
So they ask me, “what’s your name?”
And I reply, “El.”